You shared with me at the end of last year where you were feeling frustrated and challenged. Career came back at the top of the list. Love and money were close seconds. Utilizing some of the tools from my workbook, Where Are You Stuck?, I created a short 7-day program called Gaining Career Clarity. And, that’s exactly what it does. I did the program in January and what I hope by sharing this experience is you can see what is available to you should you wish to do it yourself.
Out the gate, I learned I had beliefs about career that I didn’t know I had or were lingering. I believed career was my Who Am I. It was my identity. (No pressure). I believed career required sacrifice, it is hard to do, you’d better be really passionate about it. I believed you must love your career, be really good at it and it has to pay well. A “job” however I could slog-through. I believed a career should have meaning so I better choose it very carefully or I could be stuck in it for life. I believed career was confining, a requirement, means I was settled, decided, over and done.
A couple of important questions came up:
1. I thought I knew what my career was, but did I?
2. Do I really believe in myself and that I can create what I want? I felt stuck between the part of me that believed I could create what I want and (my devil) the ultra pragmatic realist who bought what society told me was the “right” and “smart” thing to do. The belief having been I could be an artist (aka do what I want) and be poor or do a job I hate and have financial stability. Oh, joy! The choices!
3. Do I need a career? Is it a choice or a requirement? Or is it something you look back on. I had the good fortune to watch a Q&A with Alfred Molina and Annette Bening in Los Angeles while they were performing together in “The Cherry Orchard” years back. A young actor asked Mr. Molina how he made the choices for his career because his career seemed so amazing to the man. Mr. Molina replied, that he saw career as something you look back on. Some times he had enough money to take the project he wanted that maybe didn’t pay as well. Other times he needed money and took the more commercial project.
The weight that had been put on top of career in my life I realized had become an albatross. So much emphasis had been placed on it I was questioning every step as right or wrong or on path. And who was going to answer that for me? The world was ready to and did. When I heard my answers I made choices that caused self-doubt. The pattern has been, do a job I hate-make money. Do a job I love and don’t get paid. This is all old stuff though. I recognize that some very positive change has happened in my life. I know there is a middle or “third” option to my black and white perspective.
What these writing excercises have given me is the clarity to see what’s been really happening in my life around career. Because I am analytical, pragmatic, experiential and creative it had been confusing. But, I realized it was the IDEAS and beliefs I had about career, the way I had interpreted it, what was expected of me and what my expectations of career were that were thwarting my own efforts. I know what I want and I know what I enjoy doing and there is no “right” path for the kind of work I like to do, so screw a path.
For me, not aiming at a career is the best option. It keeps me in the present moment with what I am doing and how I am living. And yes, this choice may have cause and effect I may not be thrilled with, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take for all the good I get in my life for following what works for me, what I’m inclined to do and what brings me joy.
The obstacle in my way was my definition (beliefs/meaning) of career and how I let that dictate my thoughts about myself and what I was doing. Needing to find that “right” career and not knowing if I was on that “right” path was shutting me down time and again, causing self-doubt and second-guessing on all fronts. But when I focus on what I want to share, what I want to participate in, where I want to contribute I feel much more open and expansive. I now believe that I trust the work of my life, whatever that work is in that moment.
Everyone’s experience is going to be different. Some paths are more straight forward than others. It’s about what is true for you. I know it can be scary, but try to embrace the mystery of life. And if you do know your career and it has a path…that is so wonderful. In either case, and the “third” option…walk your path, known or unknown, with a light-heart.
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